My Life Without Me †Individuality in conflict with societal roles Essay

Sacrificing cardinals testify options and choices in spiritedness, making decisions based on the bureau of macrocosm a ripe(p) p atomic number 18nt and aiming to advance future generations by renouncing possess opportunities be imagels that sire sustained in many cultures. But wherefore is at that place a stronger emphasis on fulfilling societal economic consumptions and sacrificing own interests to fulfil more(prenominal) norms, if soulisticisation is much(prenominal) a soaring value in modern, especi entirelyy westward, partnership? There are dire consequences for nightclub when people alienate their own self-fulfilment in dictate to fulfil obligations that pick up been ram upon them.In the counterbalance few moments of My liveliness With forth Me (Coixet 2003) Ann explains the trouble with the animation that she has lived up to that point. As the title suggests, she has lived it without her self she explains who she is, as if actualising for the fi rst time that she actually exists and is a real person, a character. Ann is merely 23 historic period old and has lived her life up to the expectations that rescue been hale upon her she gets pregnant with 17 and from thus on she is but a scram and a wife and the main breadwinner of her family.In westward modern federation the opinion of undividedisation as the social all overture of idiosyncratic ideals, self-sufficiency, freedom and the credit line of delight is repeatedly referred to as one of the c escape important rights an individual has. In addition, an attach in the legitimacy and postulation of individual self-realisation and the cultivation of individual originality has taken place (Willems 2012 147).With Ann we are shown an example of the problem that occurs, when there is a plain passage of arms of interest between the roles that have been sprung upon an individual, much(prenominal) as the role of a scram, hitherto at merely 17, and the breeding o f an individual individuation, self-realisation and pursuing ones own individual(prenominal) interests. Even in the list of the decade things Ann regardes to do before she dies, her priorities are go across the first half of the list are all things immediately associated with her role in her family.The things she wants to do for herself come last. In one scene, when she is asked in a bar what her popular euphony is, she starts by saying she hasnt listened to music in a long time, and that she used to the the a desire(p)s of Nirvana. Immediately she drifts impinge on to talking round how she met her save there. She isnt able to say what her favourite music is now, because she has ceased to do anything for herself. Ann, as an individual, faces gild, age the society is made entirely out of individuals that have norms and expectations.If one considers these dickens components separately and ignores the background and reciprocal affinity, one creates an unbridgeable gap, which undersurface lead to problems in the analysis of Anns character and the conflict she finds herself in. If one takes into devotion Anns circumstances, it chokes clear that Ann lives in Canada and finds herself in a religious society, that does not meet abortion for example as a given privilege and choice. When she realises she is pregnant at 17, it is obvious that she must get married, tire her role as a m new(prenominal) and must prioritise this role over all else.As Marcuse describes, two manifestations of the individual have developed in recent history, and although they are related to each other reciprocally, this dichotomy leads to a conflict in society. First, there is a tendency towards the development of a free individual and ingenious subject, and on the other hand there is the development of a free economic subject in free competition. A separation occurs between the struggle of the individual for his autonomy and the development of his self, and, at the si milar time, in a fight for its existence.Ann is forced to work and entrust for her family, while her autonomy is strongly compromised. She takes care of the children, fully presume and prioritising that role, sort of than pursuing or stock-still having dreams of her own. This shows that there is not only shove from society to survive and provide financially for herself and her family, but also a clean obligation to prioritise her role as a wife and mother. Ann does not become aware of the compromises she has made towards her own identity and identity, until she knows she is going to die soon.Through the role she has assumed, her self-fulfilment and fashion presenting her individuality have been compromised. This is the impairment she has to pay for fulfilling her material and moral obligation. Questionably, compromises like these have consequences for societal structures as considerably as for the individuals one finds therein. The film depicts a subtle answer to the ques tion of what the consequences from much(prenominal) compromises and conflicts are. An important factor is that Ann never tells anyone she is going to die.She solves the conflict of interest in her life by living her up to her new-found individuality separate from her traditional family life. The integration of these two lives would be ever so fill up with conflicts, that she decides to start living a double-life instead one in which she lives up to the expectations and her role as a pleasant wife and mother and another in which she pursues all the things she feels she has missed out on, like smoking, potable and sleeping with another man.These two currents are not reconcilable. Another consequence is that Ann has precise concrete plans for how the life of the others should go on, once she is gone. She acts manipulatively, by trying to introduce her husband to a woman she thinks should take her place, or by recording birthday messages for her children and advising them on how to act. Though one sympathises with Ann as a loving mother and wife that wants the outdo for her family even after she is gone, it seems paternalistic. tour it seems altruistic and kind of her to want her husband to have a nice children-loving companion when she is gone, the representation she chooses someone over his head and manipulates the agency without his knowledge or his say to the matter, seems honest scheming and even patronising. While it is pleasing and touching of her to record all the messages for her childrens birthdays for them, it seems like she does not only have loving and encouraging words to stay, but is much rather trying to make for them on how to act and to behave in the future.It seems like the price she has paid in fulfilling her role, rather than indulging her own self, has had this effect on her. This very much reminds me of the sacrifices that many parents gravel for the next generations to come, in particular of young immigrants, that wish for a better life for their children. Parents, as the first reference of what is right and improper and important, yield their children strongly, especially in watch to education and how to determine their life.A mediation of the parents culture on to the children takes place and while the participatory influence parents have is grueling to measure and define, it is obvious that a plentitude of elements in the behaviour of second-generation immigrants dejection be accounted to their parents (Farsi 2013 100 ff. ). These parents sacrifice their home rustic and the fulfilment of their own dreams and individuality, in order to fulfil the obligation that has been thrust upon them to provide the best chances and education they brush aside for their children. While these intentions, like the intentions of Ann, are noble and fasten with morality, the outcome is ofttimes paternalism.If one sacrifices self-realisation, self-fulfilment and the expression of ones own individuality for the r ole of being a great parent, the outcome is ofttimes a paternalistic attitude towards the pursuit of the rest of the family, especially the children. Furthermore when Ann knows she forget die and leave her family, she knows she will lose her influence on them, which is why she decides to influence them as much as she after part before, and ensure that her daughters and her husband live their life the way she thinks they should.The influence of parents that are immigrants lessens when the are in a different nimbus and culture. The value they have been brought up with often get lost in western society, especially when they come from a centre of attention eastern background. Much like Anns death, that will eliminate her influence on her family, it seems the influence of cultural values also dies once the environment is changed by the removal and replacement through modern western societal values. The stand-up comedian amir K. explains this matter in his sketch on his father (K. 20 11).The reason the audience appreciates and laughs about his performance, lies in the woeful cliche of the characterization of his father. He depicts the disappointment of a exemplary middle eastern father who shouts at his son for pursuing a biography in a path he does not deem appropriate, in his human face stand-up comedy. He quotes his father in saying You waste of education, waste of my currency or Youre a keister clown? I brought you to this country to be a clown? You can be a lawyer, you can be a doctor, you can open up a bank but instead you choose a career in comedy.The reason especially young immigrants of the second generation can laugh at this is because it is so jet for parents to have paternalistic expectations towards the career paths and norms and values that their children should live by. Similar to the case of Ann, it seems that the sacrifice of their own individuality for their role as a good parent, and the loss of their influence on the other hand, could lead to such a paternalistic attitude and the undertake to manipulate and coerce their values and their idea of how the children should live their lives.While I do not wish to condemn Anns love and care for her children, just like the sacrifices immigrant parents make for future generations, one must take into consideration that when dynamics of society thrust roles onto individuals that imply sacrifice of ones own self for the well-being of another and swelled up the pursuit of ones own expression of individuality, problematic, paternalistic relationships can occur. What begins as a well-intended sacrifice out of love, could end in a relationship in which choosing ones own path is something that none of the parties involved can pursue without a feeling of guilt.Bibliography Farsi, Armand (2013) Migranten auf dem Weg zur Elite? Zum Berufserfolg von Akademikern mit Migrationshintergrund. Online-Ausg. Berlin u. a. Springer, 2013. DOI 10. 1007/978-3-658-01564-0 Marcuse, Herbert (1 970) Ideen zu einer kritischen Theorie der Gesellschaft. Suhrkamp Verlag, capital of Kentucky am Main Willems, Herbert (2012) Synthetische Soziologie Idee, Entwurf und Programm. VS Verlag fur Sozialwissenschaften, Wiesbaden Internetquellen K. , emeer (2011) Middle Eastern Dad. http//www. youtube. com/watch? v=JCxMWWf4_Ww Seen 24. 11. 13 2011.